once a girl in my biology class asked if the sun had bones
Once a girl in my spanish class asked if fish was a dairy product
once a girl in my biology class exclaimed, “i didn’t know you breathed when you were sleeping!”
Once a guy in my health class argued with the teacher for an entire period that peanut butter was a meat
Thank God I’m homeschooled.
"too vague" writes my English teacher on my essay
kind of like the instructions you gave us you piece of shit
go into a starbucks in NYC and say very loudly into your phone “this movie script is stale and trite! we need some new talent, someone with a fresh outlook” and wait
one of my favorite things is when you give a baby your finger and they hold on to it as tight as they can. it’s funny because they don’t even come close to having the amount of muscle power i do. do you really think you can hold me here haha. i’ll crush you
next up on having a vagina: are these cramps or should i tell my mom to take me to the hospital
Yeah that happened to me in 2012 and it turns out I have 2 uteruses.
whAT THE FUCK
what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?
one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails
Some guys from my hall snap chatted me- took me a second…
i hope u find someone that mindlessly plays with your hands and lightly strokes your legs and massages your back and plays with your hair and i hope that u feel like you’re home when u look at them
things i needed to hear in health class:
- puberty might make you squishier and its ok
- vaginas have a smell and it’s a ok
- all kinds of people with all kinds of bodies have gr8 sex
- genitals do not all look the same and variety is rad
- people have stretch marks sometimes
- people have pimples on their butts sometimes
- people have cellulite sometimes
- gender =/= sex
- sex =/= scary danger FEAR
- bodies aren’t scary or gross or sacred
- everything is ok
i dont trust people who are attracted to me…like why? write me a 10 page paper with a legitimate thesis and valid points backing up your claim or you fake.
do you ever feel like there’s barely anyone in your city that listens to the same music you do but when you go to a concert you’re just like “where the fuck have you all been”