Photo 1 Sep 2,186 notes
Text 1 Sep 318,391 notes

i-write-poetry-not-tragedies:

alinatotheleft:

frnkoreo:

happilyneverforever:

caraknightley:

once a girl in my biology class asked if the sun had bones

Once a girl in my spanish class asked if fish was a dairy product

once a girl in my biology class exclaimed, “i didn’t know you breathed when you were sleeping!”

Once a guy in my health class argued with the teacher for an entire period that peanut butter was a meat

Thank God I’m homeschooled.

(Source: goatpolice)

Text 1 Sep 423,760 notes

cptnrogers:

"too vague" writes my English teacher on my essay

kind of like the instructions you gave us you piece of shit

Text 1 Sep 146,737 notes

neptunain:

go into a starbucks in NYC and say very loudly into your phone “this movie script is stale and trite! we need some new talent, someone with a fresh outlook” and wait

Text 1 Sep 85,414 notes

bombing:

one of my favorite things is when you give a baby your finger and they hold on to it as tight as they can. it’s funny because they don’t even come close to having the amount of muscle power i do. do you really think you can hold me here haha. i’ll crush you

Text 1 Sep 174,411 notes

damittromney:

my-name-is-long:

damittromney:

next up on having a vagina: are these cramps or should i tell my mom to take me to the hospital

Yeah that happened to me in 2012 and it turns out I have 2 uteruses.

whAT THE FUCK

Text 1 Sep 110,085 notes

kurgs:

skeletongrazed:

skeletongrazed:

what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails
Photo 1 Sep 217,467 notes funnyforsmile:

Some guys from my hall snap chatted me- took me a second…

funnyforsmile:

Some guys from my hall snap chatted me- took me a second…

Text 1 Sep 160,355 notes

4rianagrande:

i hope u find someone that mindlessly plays with your hands and lightly strokes your legs and massages your back and plays with your hair and i hope that u feel like you’re home when u look at them

Video 1 Sep 838,905 notes
Text 1 Sep 174,337 notes

mentally-illectric:

things i needed to hear in health class:

  • puberty might make you squishier and its ok
  • vaginas have a smell and it’s a ok
  • all kinds of people with all kinds of bodies have gr8 sex
  • genitals do not all look the same and variety is rad
  • people have stretch marks sometimes
  • people have pimples on their butts sometimes
  • people have cellulite sometimes
  • gender =/= sex
  • sex =/= scary danger FEAR
  • bodies aren’t scary or gross or sacred 
  • everything is ok
Text 1 Sep 132,498 notes

lamegrownup:

i dont trust people who are attracted to me…like why? write me a 10 page paper with a legitimate thesis and valid points backing up your claim or you fake.

Text 1 Sep 81,889 notes

twerkinturtle:

do you ever feel like there’s barely anyone in your city that listens to the same music you do but when you go to a concert you’re just like “where the fuck have you all been”

(Source: catmoobs)

Photo 1 Sep 165,170 notes

(Source: inana264)

Text 1 Sep 32,432 notes

reyairia:

Hello, my name is Strong Female Character, and my secret power is reaffirming the heterosexuality of the disproportionately male cast.


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